DESPRATE HELP! CANT EAT OR SLEEP!?!?!?

Im 12, and every yr my family and i go to switzerland to visit my moms family. but this yr my dad and one of my sisters cant come. So for a mth its just me and my mom and my sis(and my gma cause were staying at her house). And we havent gone in two years, and last time we went my gpa had just died. I got TERRIFIED of death, i couldent sleep, i barely ate, i cried all day, and was depressed. So now im back, and that feeling of being terrified is looming around the house still for me and im depressed and i dont want to be here at all, i want to go home more then anything in the world, but i cant. I feel trapped, and im extreamly homesic. espically cause my parents just got me a new kitten and i miss her terriably. I also have taphephobia, im terrified of being burried alive and being trapped in small spaces, which is all part of my fear of crime( being kidnapped killed, tourtured, ect) and im too scared to go to sleep cause im having nightmarers. Im scared of death cause i feel there is nothing after, no heaven, I want to cry a lot everytime i think about it. Im barely eating again/ not getting a lot of sleep. Im extreamly homesick. HELP PLEASE!?!?!?!?